I think a lot about the words we use when we speak. Spanish people talk a lot, so I have listened and always been fascinated by people’s word choices and the phrases they are known for. And I am also always surprised at how underwhelmed we all are by our own abilities. When I find myself thinking that “I couldn’t do that” it makes me wonder about our inability to believe ourselves capable of more.
One phrase in particular has stuck in my head recently:

“Oh, I couldn’t do that!”

I hear the phrase used in two contexts. Firstly, individuals use it when they are impressed by what they are seeing. They do not imagine themselves undertaking such a thing, they are simply pleased by the cleverness of another. This has a sense of wonder to it and amazement about the actions of someone else. Perhaps this is you and you need read no further. I love the idea of surprise and enchantment at another person’s ability. Congratulations, I didn’t write this post for you.

So, what if you are on the other side? The second use of this phrase is in impeding our moving ourselves forward. You may be looking for help with a particular issue. A suggestion is made and this phrase is your automatic response. In this situation, we have made the action we witnessed about us and our capacity for cleverness. The idea being that we see this action as outside of our wheelhouse. There is no way we can imagine ourselves doing such a thing and we are not allowing space for this to even be a consideration.

Resistance

I work with resistance. In spite of my own resistance, I should say. (I will write a separate blog post about the amazing book by Steven Pressfield, “Do the Work” which is all about resistance.)

The people I work with and help, cannot imagine a future past their own resistance. Fortunately, I help them see that they are fighting against themselves and their struggle is therefore internal. Yet, in the audiobook industry, as in any creative industry, we are freelancers. We are masters of our own destiny. We are responsible for the work we acquire and undertake.

What can we do?

What if we shift that phrase and reframe it for ourselves to make more sense? I have been enjoying reframing things this year, looking at them objectively and without emotional attachment. So, let’s make a different statement –
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to do that!”

Any time you find yourself incredulous of expectations. Anytime you think something is outside your comfort zone. Ask yourself, is it even something you would want to do?
If it isn’t, then you can remain in awe of others efforts and continue with your day.
But if the phrase, “Oh, I wouldn’t want to do that” doesn’t sit well with you and you realise that you wish you could … take action.

However small, take a step toward that goal. Undertake some researching, asking, learning. Don’t belittle yourself and never underestimate yourself. We constantly put up barriers to our own progress and the world is already doing that for us. We resist change, we resist new, we resist things we don’t yet understand. Nevertheless, we constantly overcome obstacles we once thought insurmountable.

Could I do that?

If you want it (in the words of Captain Picard) make it so!

I spend a lot of time in the audiobook industry telling people not to self-reject. We underestimate our own capacity for change and challenge, mostly through the vocabulary that we hear and use.
Be sure to recognise where your words are leading you and how they make you feel about yourself.
The next time you catch yourself saying, oh, I couldn’t do that! Ask yourself … or could I? Do I want to?